I’ve had my feet pointed toward home, with just 20 days left in
England. Over the past few months I’ve had a love-hate relationship with going
home. So today I did what every millennial does when the world hands them a
problem: I turned to Google. However “Returning home from abroad quotes” didn’t
give me too much help. A few clicks later, I found an interesting quote from
founding father John Adams, which on the surface doesn’t have much to do with
returning home to America, but I liked it.
“The only thing most people do better than anyone else is read their own handwriting.”
My biggest fear about going home is that no one will
understand me, or try to understand me. Attached to this is the fear is that I
won’t understand anyone or be able to relate to them. This sounds dramatic, I
know. But it’s all new territory to me. I haven’t left my hometown for this
long before, and this is the longest I’ve gone without seeing my parents (they
even came to visit in January).
Returning home feels big. It is big. I know for
a fact that people and places have grown and changed and the natural flow of
life without me has moved on. I have been used to life here in London, and been changed myself. I think I could be ok with all this change, if I didn’t
worry about being understood. Being known.
Moving to London, I’ve taken some of my favorite moments
were when new friends cared for me, by saying “oh, Mary’s always got to have
her coffee!” or by asking “How are your parents?” –weaving together the silly
or true parts of me with their own lives. Showing me that I wasn’t an outsider,
but that I was known and cared for here.
So returning home, I am full of the adventures, heartaches,
and loves of the new life I’ve lived this year. And I have to let it grow
alongside the home life, which is both familiar and unpredictable. And I need grace.
Yes, lots of God's grace.
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